Emotional Intelligence!!

I am emotional but don’t know about the intelligence part. I know one thing…….. I am confused, moody and scary…….a deadly combination. I  hate mirrors…… they can’t tell me who am I….they just pretend to know me…….Noone knows me….so its only me who know myself but here comes the biggest problem and to be very frank……… I don’t know myself at all………so beware of me…even I do..

I hate when someone shows empathy with me but I am very caring and I do the same with the people……I hate taking ‘ahsaan’ from the people…but love to do a few……Very easily I get bored and I am afraid of my mood swings :)

But I am emotional and writing this piece to know about my emotional intelligence………

She was as beautiful as I was ugly..

When I was reading ‘The Midnight’s Children’, I always got a bit of myself in Salim, who was an ugly guy. He had a very long ugly nose which had made him very ugly as well as very special…unique (Ugly is unique). There was a very beautiful girl for whom he had some feelings. According to him, she was the most beautiful lady on the earth. I remember the line which he had used to describe her beauty and for me it is the most beautiful and romantic line ever, said by someone for his someone special.

“She was as beautiful as I was ugly.”

I am ugly and she is very very beautiful. I feel like Salim.. having a desire to make her mine but I know I am not at all good for her. She should get the best as best deserves best…She had promised me that she would be my model for my first photo shoot. She is so sweet. Now I am desperately looking for a cam and want to catch her in my arms, thoughts and photos………………

I want to do my best and I know I would do that… :)

Silence of my inner ones….

Silence is dangerous. Silence terrifies people most. Silence is scary and I think it is not black. People normally relate scary things with black color -a black night, a black ghost, a black day, a black magic, a black cat…

Do you know there are a few white things which are scary or we think they are scary? Silence is one of them…

I call myself ‘A White Indian’ and I am ‘White’ because I look scary. My silence is white, sometimes my feelings are white, sometimes my emotions are white, sometimes my blood is white…. I have always felt and seen a different world. A world where people get terrified just looking at me. A world which should be for me but its not……

I am silent and white..a deadly scary combination. Actually I am made of a few different characters. They live somewhere inside me. They are silent and never speak. They love to observe things happening around but never speak. They are dying..each one of them and I am no more going to let this happen.

So this blog is for them..this blog is a place where they would be writing..they would be speaking without thinking of any worldly rules and obligations..they would be breathing and spitting their thoughts out..

They are just looking for their ‘Wilson’ (a character in Cast Away). Is there any??